Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
