Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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