I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
