She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
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I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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