It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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