Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Two words: blizzard sex
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
