Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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