ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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