Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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