she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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