Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
