We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
