He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
