i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
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