So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
