cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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