And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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