let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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