Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
