Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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