All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
