I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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