i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
