cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
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found the other keg... it's in the tree
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
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If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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