I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
