I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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