I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
