Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
