it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
