You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
