But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
