if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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