I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
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So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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