she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
