It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
