For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
