Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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