omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
