dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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