I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize