Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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