Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
