Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
