Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
