when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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