The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize