Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
