She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
