I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
