he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
