Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
