I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
