you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
