how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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