I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
