so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What drink are we having for lunch?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
