they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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