Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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