so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
