Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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