He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
