I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize