I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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