No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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