Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
